The Fart Bike

Blizzard of MOTHERFUCKING Manure

Watching a show on PBS about the beef industry in Ne. called "BEEF STATE". Funny, they mention South Omaha and the stockyards and the stench. Brought back memories of when I was a kid. I went to a grade school about 1 mile from the stockyards. The school had no A/C so the windows would be wide open to the blizzard of manure. Never will forget that.

A lot of polish ancestry in that area. At least the pollacks could find their way home from the bar by following the stench. There was pretty much a bar on every corner.

The Motherfucking Porn (corn) Crib

So I found another use for my Niterider lite. Extreme exterior painting. I'll tell you why it's extreme.

First, painting at nite on a ladder is extreme, step ladder, cause of uneven surfaces. It's a balancing act at times cause you just can't get the perfect even surface in a yard. There were a few "Motherfucker" yelled out.

Secondly, the nite life. Besides crickets, squierters, and some bugs I just figured out theres humans. Yep, humans meandering around at 10:30 at nite. Well, I guess this is the hood as Lincolnites call it but it ain't that bad. So I'm up on the ladder and I hear a nite creature coming down the walk. He's a yellin in his phone at his old lady. Typical. Then he sees me, stops, and finishes up his conversation. The dude comes up to me and asks me if I want to buy some porn videos. I thought he said corn. "So I ask what kind of corn" as i blind him with the Niterider.
He goes " home made porn".
"Shit, I thought you said corn"
" No man, local beeatches porn"
" Nope, I'll pass. I got better things to do"

You would think that some motherfucker, up on a ladder, with a helmet and bright lite attached, painting at 10:30pm wouldn't be interested buying some porn. Then again?

Motherfucking Metronomes you are

Lincoln High band wants to practice right across the street from me. Can't you go on the other side of the playground. Take this: Twisted Sister, carver 500 watts blaring thru some infinity's. Try to find some metronome rhythym now.

Earlier this summer Motherfucking track team decides to blare rap on the speakers. Setting off car alarms in the hood. I'm trying to get some rest. I'm fucking yelling at some dude to turn that shit off. No response. Now I"m pissed cause I have to go all the way around the field to bitch. " Oh we're having practice and it pumps up the kids". " Hey, just turn the shit off". " thank You". I never did get any rest.

Fuck, between thumping cars, teen-angers, and psychotic neighbors someones goin to get fucked up. Oh yeah, don't lurk around my house at 3am in the morning eyeballing my car. I will show you the force that lurks under my bed. Upland game birds don't like it either.

I'm goin to read this when I'm 80yrs old, laugh, and pleasantly drift into my grave. I'm out o here to go produce some enzymatic reactions. I'll let you know if I get fucked with.

MOTHER.