SWAG

Scientific Wild Ass Guess. None of that going on here. All my answers are Scientific Wildmotherfucking Ass Guess'.

MOTHER.

Wild means Giving Naturalist

Hell, i ain't a crazy motherfucker but I guess it all depends on who you ask. As I get older I'm more compelled to forgo the traditional xmas stuff. To me it's more about giving to everyone. I think giving to an enviromental issue not only impacts a local area but the world, even further than this world the universe, so that everyone can enjoy!

One thing I did the holiday season to impact the enviroment was to send greeting via email. Try this site out if your interested http://www.care2.com/.

My disclaimer to all who might say this is "bull", I'M TRYING in my own unperfect way. It's up to you to do the same. I don't preach but try to set an example thru action.

Oh, and let me add that on that site there's some petitions you can sign. If you can't donate think about a petition. There's lots of pain and suffering going on, again not a perfect world, but think about trying to make a difference.

MOTHER.

Fucking the Bottle

What is the next excuse?

Bad News For Leukemans
Bjorn Leukemans has made quite a name for himself in the past month, and not for sporting reasons. Leukemans tested positive for testosterone following his 13th place at the World Championships in Stuttgart. He of course denied any wrongdoing and came up with one of the better excuses in modern history to explain his jacked testosterone ratio: I was having sex when the testers came knocking.

Interesting story, especially considering that they found synthetic testosterone.

Anyhow, this year's 4th place at Paris-Roubaix announced on his personal website that the B-Test came up, gasp, positive.

Leukemans heads on over to the Flemish Cycling Federation's discipline committee on January 10th.

Artic Adventure: Race for the south pole

These guys were motherfuckers:

Then came the day to remember. On Friday December 14, 1911, the team had finally reached their destination, the South Pole. It was a glorious moment for the men and all of Norway. It was a moment the world would never forget. Amundsen had finally achieved the goal that he had worked so hard to win. They arrived with 17 dogs and three sleds. They set up camp and for three days they made calculation to make sure that they were really at the South Pole. They then skied in a 10 miles radius so to be sure to have actually been to the Pole, in case their calculations were off. They planted the Norwegian flag to show that they had first reached the Pole.

You want a tale read this book

MOTHER.

Shoring Up Loose Motherfucking Ends

I'm full of skittles n coffee and it's closing time. Just a little something to end the work week on.

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

MOTHER.

Complacent Motherfuckers

One thing you realize is that commuting isn't very complacent in the snow. Before I start with my story I'll release a little agression on your ass. MOTHERFUCKER! Keep your vehicle on your side of the road, at a slow speed and give me the motherfucking courtesy for being a motherfucking person living along side your stupid motherfucking dumb ass. If you want to kill me then let's get it on. Eye to eye.

So there was a few cars that got near my detonate button yesterday and this morning. Oh yeah, fuck the city bus driver who drives down Y street. I'm thinking of stopping his ass on Monday morning and getting in his face. (Shit! Better put a warning in here.) I'm not a complacent MOTHERFUCKER. Get your fucking ass out and realize that life ain't complacent outside your fucking enclosures ( house, car).

On the lighter side of life, fucking riding a bike in the snow is fun. A challenge. Ice, snow, ruts, "whats under that snow that could grab my tire". Makes you think but not to much. That's me. Up for a good challenge. Always been that way. Buddies called me motherfucking goofy. Nope. Totally in control. Never took up a challenge that I felt was beyond my realm. Mostly took up my own dares and would invite others but no pressure. Here's an example: Drunk party at buddies brothers party in Lincorn. Wake up. Hungry. Hungover. Everyone sitting around groggy. Me, I want some food. Decide to run downtown cause nobody could move to give me a ride to breakfast. Throw on the jean jacket in a November rain and just start running to find some cash and breakfast. Didn't care. It was definitely going to be a challenge.

In the end, this blog isn't for pussies. So I'll end my sappy ass story here. Take life. Stick your teeth into the wind and grin. No whining about the cold. The snow. Nothing.

MOTHER.

Not Motherfucking Ashamed

I knew it

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