Motherfucking Elevator, cars, cracks, and everything else

Elevator at work is very aggressive. It closes on you when you're half way through the door. I think I cussed a little to loud when it slammed on my ass. " what the fuck"! I screamed. Luckily it was only the computer maintanence man inside. He just laughed.

I could understand if this was a busy building but its not. It's only got 4 floors. There really isn't a need for an elevator except for just this reason, " to carry motherfucking heavy boxes in". Oh! and the handicap. There never is a line for the elevator, not that I've ever seen a line for an elevator in Lincorn, Ne., so why does the door close so fast? Not to shuttle people in and out fast. Probably some elevator maintenance repair persons idea of motherfucking humor.

I love cars. Riding to work I need to cross 80th and the mopac. Motherfucking light takes forever to turn. So i'm comin down the hill on the path with some good speed, 28, look over my shoulder to see if cars are comin. There's one chance before the light to dodge across. One car in the left lane, another about 20yds behind him, and another in the right lane 20 yrds back. No cars comin the other way. I'm thinking" oh yeah, baby, I got this one. I'm goin make it to work in record time". I hit the entrance to the mopac parking lot. I'm parallel with the first car. Ease up just a bit. BAM! I'm in the left lane. Heading across 84 th to the trail. I get a motherfucking honk from the first car. I thought the cars behind would honk. No it' the first motherfucker. I figured he liked my daredevil move. I laughed and gave him a big wave. Maybe he knows the tour de french starts tommorrow . I'm just experiencing the thrill of manuevering through the caravan.

Now about cracks. Sidewalk cracks. Fuck is there a lot of them this year or what?

MOTHER.