Motherfucking Nip Guard

All these years I've been using duct tape. I have a problem. I'm out of the closet. It sucks being skinny in the cold. Not enough fat layers and flapping, loose fitting jerseys against your nipples. There's been rides where the wind and cold suddenly kick up, which isn't quite unusual in knebraska, and "BAM!" my nipples would start hurting something fierce. I've had frozen regions that at least they go numb but the nipples is just to much stimulation. Four hours to make it home into a head wind and you begin to wonder what all the excitement is about anyways.

I'll be carrying a pair in my jersey pocket.

MOTHER.